Vicious Cogs

Things like depression, anxiety, anger, low mood – in fact, any problem that comes under the “mental health” umbrella (and probably any other problem) – do not come out of nowhere and do not continue to exist in a vacuum. You don’t feel anxious or depressed without a cause. The trick is to discover what keeps your particular issue going. And when you’ve discovered that, you can start to tackle it. 

There’s a concept called “vicious cogs”. Imagine a large cog in the centre and smaller cogs linked to it. That centre cog represents the main problem – the smaller cogs are what keep it going. The two are interlinked, feeding off one another. For instance, if anxiety is a problem, it may be kept going by distorted thinking (always assuming the worst will happen, or that there’s bound to be a big disaster heading your way), avoiding situations (in order to spare yourself potential, albeit maybe unlikely, embarrassment), keeping busy (in an effort to avoid thinking), escape (trying to get out of situations in which you think you will feel uncomfortable). These are just examples. By adopting these coping mechanisms you actually perpetuate the anxiety. You assume a problem that may or may not be likely to happen, then you do what you can to make sure it doesn’t happen. For instance, you’re afraid people won’t like you, so you avoid meeting people. But in doing so, you never get to find out whether they like you or not. And that keeps the anxiety in place. And so on…

What you need to do is confront the cogs one by one. This will require courage and you may need the help of others. But once you see that your fears are unfounded (or greatly exaggerated), then you should find your problem gradually overcome.

Here’s a poem I recently wrote about my own vicious cogs. Having identified the problems I have been able to work to overcome them.

*Tiredness*

Constant plodding ache

Affecting mood and motivation

Keep on turning

Keep depression turning

*Negativity*

Stupid this, stupid that

I don't want to do it

Haven't I got enough to think about?

Everything is aggravation

Keep on turning

Keep depression turning

*Low expectation*

Nothing ever changes

Nothing ever will

As it was in the beginning

Is now

And ever shall be

Immortal stagnation

Keep on turning

Keep depression turning

*Withdrawal*

Shunning human company

On my lonesome

It's easier that way

Don't have to think what to say

Isolation

Keep on turning

Keep depression turning

*Lack of motivation*

Can't be bothered

What's the point?

It's too much hassle

Keep on turning

Keep depression turning

Just do it!

Just do it!

Be bothered

Be bothered

Things can change

Exit your safe space

There's a world out there

And it might just want to know you

Overcome the cogs

That keep depression turning

Break each one

Break each one

The key!

The key!

(You can type “vicious cogs” into a search engine to find out more.)

The End of the World

We live in an age of exaggeration. Things are blown out of all proportion. It doesn’t take much for social media to erupt in howls of doom, gloom, condemnation and the other horseman of the apocalypse. People appear to lack the sense to see things in context. Everything is black or white. Everything is catastrophic. The worst is always going to happen. A herd mentality kicks in – people seizing on the catastrophizing of others. You’d think the world was going to end. Yet the next day the world keeps turning and there is another issue which takes up the mantle of horror.

Catastrophizing is expecting the worst possible outcome from a set of events. It’s unfounded fear magnified. It’s paranoia intensified. It’s irrational. It’s a horrible way to live. I spent a lot of my life like this. It drains you. It’s a sign of depression, anxiety, mental illness. And it needs to be combatted.

The first thing is to realise when you’re doing it, that you’re seeing a thing in the worst possible light. Once aware of what you’re doing, you can start to tackle it. When you notice you’re doing it, visualise a massive STOP sign in your mind, accompanied by the sound of screeching tyres. Ask yourself whether it’s really likely to turn out as bad as you expect. Put it into context. Ask realistically, what’s actually likely to happen. If you made a mistake and it’s possible to correct it, do so. If you did something wrong, seek to put it right. If a situation is out of your hands, instead of constantly dwelling on it, get on with life and let other people sort it out. Take a day at a time. Be calm. Take deep breaths. When thoughts of exaggerated, negative expectations come to your mind, realise they’re just thoughts and don’t necessarily reflect reality. Keep telling yourself the bad outcome is unlikely to be as bad as you think. Or even happen at all.

This is about irrational thinking. If there are good reasons for expecting a very bad outcome, this is not directed at you. What I’m referring to is a persistent, extreme expectation of the very worst. It’s negative thoughts spinning out of control which need nipping in the bud. It may well take a good deal of persistent practice to break the habit, but it’s a great tool to have in your armoury.

You can think up some visual metaphors to help you. Imagine you are playing cricket, perhaps. When you spot a catastrophic thought, picture a cricket ball as the thought coming towards you and you magnificently hit it for six to the adulation of the crowd. Or you’re a boxer – the thought is your opponent striding towards you but you punch him to the floor and raise your arms in triumph! These symbols of victory can help you mock the fears and show yourself a conqueror.