The Sun Is Coming Out!

You know how it is. It’s cloudy. been raining. You’re a bit fed up. Then the clouds start to disperse, the sky and the earth brighten up and you say, “The Sun is coming out!” And yet, you’re wrong! Nothing personal! We all do it! The sun isn’t coming out at all. It’s been there all the time. It’s the clouds that are moving, allowing us to see and feel it. Maybe we focus on the sun because we like it more than the clouds?

Leaving that aside, what we learn is that our perspective isn’t always quite right. No harm will come to us by saying “the sun is coming out” when it’s actually “the clouds are moving away”. But there are false senses of perspective which are harmful. They can rob us of happiness. Depression manifests in false perspectives. I’ve experienced all on the list below, so when I follow the quote with a comment I intend it to be another perspective with which to challenge the negative thought.

“I feel like I’m up against the world.” Really? Seven billion people verses you?
“Why can’t I ever succeed?” What? You never, ever succeed in anything?
“No one understands me.” Do you speak a different language?
“I’ve let people down.” Have you asked them whether they feel let down?
“I’m useless.” You must be good at something.
“My life’s not going to way I want it to.” Is that because you have unrealistic expectations?
“I can’t get started.” Well, you got out of bed, didn’t you? YOU DID, DIDN’T YOU?????
“What’s wrong with me?” Focus on what’s right with you.
“I wish I could just disappear.” You would really be missed if you did.
“My life is a mess.” List the messy things and straighten them out one at a time.
“Something has to change.” Go out and make it change, then! If you sit around moping it won’t.
“My future is bleak.” What are you, a clairvoyant?

OK, some of the responses may be more helpful than others but you get the idea. A problem with depression is that you never see the sun come out because for you the clouds are always there. Depression doesn’t come on its own. It brings its evil twin self-pity along. And this is toxic. You cannot easily escape once that gets hold of you.  

If you’re stuck in this downward spiral of depression/self-pity/negativity/hopelessness, you’ll need help. It’s like sinking in quicksilver – you cannot save yourself. It can be difficult to admit to yourself you’re depressed, so I’d understand you may not want to talk to friends or family about it. (Alternatively, you may do little else than moan to them.) As well as support of people you know, I would advocate seeing your GP or family doctor. They can help you and/or direct you in the path to take. There are self-help books if you really have nobody or are too scared to talk to anyone. And if you’re a Christian, speak to a senior person in your church for advice. Humble yourself. Don’t feel you’re a failure as a Christian. Depression is a recognised illness and you wouldn’t necessarily feel you were letting God down if you had the flu. 

Whatever you do, do something to address it. Pray. And hold on to the Lord. There is a way to see the sun again!

That Went Well, Then!

This post was inspired by something I saw recently. I found it so amusing that I took a photo (with my new smartphone, having upgraded from a bog standard mobile at last – go me!) and that photo is on the left. Someone politely wrote a request on their garage door not to park in front of it. Drew a smiley face to show this was a friendly request. And someone parked in front of it. So, that went well then! 

It raises the issue of free will. Can you expect, as a regular Joe (or Josephine) Public, to be able to make people do what you want? Life would be much easier if they did, but should you expect them to? And what happens when they don’t?

Why would you want people to do what you say? You may be a control freak. You may see someone with a problem and want to help them. You may be a parent seeking a quiet(er) life or, more positively, wanting your children to do their best in life. Plenty of other reasons, I’m sure. You can adopt different strategies. The polite request (see picture!). The guilt trip (if you loved me you would…). The reduction of options (shall we go for a walk or sit on the beach? You want to go for a walk, they hate the beach). Encouragement (give it a go, you’d be great at it and it would help you no end). Flattery (I think you’re brilliant – could you give me a hand with…?). Pity (oh, I’m not well, go and fetch me…). Threat (if you don’t eat your dinner there’s no internet for you!). Well, that’s enough of that! Don’t want to give you too many ideas! 

What happens when the other person won’t play along? I mean, what happens to you? Anger? Frustration? Self-pity? A healthier option is to keep trying and not give up on the person. (I’m assuming here you’re trying to change someone for their benefit, not yours.) Try different positive tactics (there’s bound to be a website for that!). Even if it breaks your heart, don’t give up on the other person. 

You can’t really control other people (in any good sense). They have free will just like you do. The happiest way is to offer to work with them, show them what is for their good, and let them know you’re there for them. Trying to beat someone into submission or put them on a guilt trip isn’t really going to make either of you happy. Neither is the flattery or the pity strategy – that’s just deception. And if the polite request or the encouragement fails, well don’t take it personally even if it annoys you. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”

I think the person who’s the most vulnerable when it comes to human free will is God. Imagine you’re forever being rejected or disobeyed or your instructions and encouragements are ignored. Thankfully God is good in a way that we’re not. He has many strategies to work in and with us but He respects the free will He gave us. It must break His heart because He doesn’t desire the death of sinners, but that they repent. And does He give up on Christians? The Apostle Paul didn’t think so: “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). If our attitude should be the same as our Father in heaven, we should not give up on each other either.

Take Your Shoes Off!

You’re walking along, doing your thing, when you see something unusual. It stops you in your tracks. Been there? Done that? It strikes us because it’s not what we expected. Normality has been disturbed. It can be a little confusing, disorientating. It can fascinate us. It doesn’t need to be a big thing. I was walking along where I live and walked past a church. Something was different. The hedge between the church grounds and the pavement had gone! Completely! That was weird because it was different. Last week when I went up town, the market square (usually a vast area of grey nothingness) was covered with a market! May not seem unusual but it was obviously a special event because, despite the name, there’s no regular market there. OK, no big deal, but these things give us a chance to be curious. Why has the church removed its hedge? Will they replace it? Won’t it be vulnerable to vandals? Maybe they’re making it more visible? I wonder what that market’s all about? Why are they doing it? How long has it been there? Cultivating curiosity can be good. You can walk on by or go and investigate. 

These little things pale into insignificance compared to Exodus 3 when Moses sees a bush on fire but not burned up. His curiosity got the better of him. He went to investigate. It’d be a dull mind indeed that thought, “that’s a strange thing – I’ll just get on tending the sheep”. He goes for a look and encounters God, who tells him to take off his sandals because he’s standing on holy ground. I don’t think that spot of earth was inherently holy. It was made holy by God’s presence. 

Where do we find what we might call “holy ground” today? Where is God’s presence today? Here is one idea. It’s not an exclusive idea. I don’t claim it’s this and nothing else. Christ is holy. Christ is in Christians (yes, I know, it’s hard to believe sometimes). Boom! I would suggest that where Christ is, there is holy ground. If Christ is in us, then every step we take is on holy ground. And we are, ourselves, holy ground, individually and corporately, as the temple of the Spirit. This is a huge privilege and a heavy responsibility! 

What an amazing thing! The risen Jesus lives in His people. Not only with, but in. Not only “up there”, but in. This should rock our worlds! It’s a true cause for happiness! 

“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27

But it’s also a cause for sobriety, because we have to live our lives in the knowledge that He’s always there. We don’t have to do only “Christian” activities, but we have to do all activities as Christians. 

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

When on our own, Christ is in us. When two or three Christians are together, He’s there in the midst of us. We therefore have to recognise that He makes us one, and any differences or difficulties between us are less important than His presence in us.

This too leads to happiness. I’ve sadly bitched and backbitten in the past. Criticised and sneered. That’s a miserable existence. Loving one another is the only way Christians can live and be happy. There is One who unites us and that is most important.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

 

Read John 17:20-23 and do what you can to make it happen.

(P.S. The church has a new fence which makes the building more visible.)

The Happiest People on Earth (Part Two)

Last time I suggested that Christians are the happiest people on Earth. We have every spiritual blessing in Christ. Happiness by God’s definition is just so much different from ours which means we have to get our heads around it. Personally, I no longer see a problem with happiness of the earthly kind. The idea that “God wants you holy, not happy” seems a bit dire and may be a false dichotomy. Do we serve a dreary God? As long as it’s sin-free, I say enjoy what God’s given you but don’t take it for granted, do share it and in all things give thanks to God (a hard enough task on its own)! 

So what’s a specifically Christian view of happiness/blessedness? We are people of the Book and of the Spirit, so what does the book say?

Jeremiah 17:7 – “Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.” We are blessed by trusting in Yahweh. This pleases Him above most things. There is rejoicing in Heaven! 

Psalm 1:1 – “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.” The Christian is happy not to throw in his lot with the wicked, or mock God as others do. This is an unusual way to live and it’s a privilege to want to honour God.

John 20:29 - Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” It’s one thing to witness Jesus in action and believe (or not), but we see Him as a character in a book or at work in the lives of Christians who say what Jesus has done for them and, on that basis, we believe.

Psalm 32:1-2 – “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.” This is powerful! The forgiveness of sins. If this isn’t a reason for happiness, then we maybe haven’t grasped how much God hates sin. In Christ sin isn’t merely covered, but taken away. It isn’t counted against us! And here Christianity appears unique. We don’t do good deeds in the hope they outweigh the bad and we might just scrape into Heaven. Jesus paid the penalty and we’re counted innocent through faith in Him. 

This scratches the surface.

Jesus turns the concept of happiness upside down. 

Matthew 5:3-12 - “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.  Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Not many would see this as the key to happiness. We may baulk at the idea of being insulted and persecuted as a reason to be cheerful. We’d all do well to find some way of reminding ourselves of these verses. This is the happiness that matters most. This is walking by faith, not by sight.

The Happiest People on Earth (Part One)

Who are they? According to the UN they are the people of Denmark. A study looking at things like health and access to healthcare, family relations and job security, political freedom and government corruption concludes the Danes are ecstatic. Well, good for them! Absolutely! Who wouldn’t want these? They’re all good and we should want our politicians and leaders to deliver them.

But I want to use a different, equally valid measure of happiness. One of the therapies I’m using is “mindfulness”. This helps me focus on what’s going on now so I don’t worry about the future, ruminate about the past, but appreciate the world I’m in and my present experience of it. Though not coming from the Christian tradition, these are all acceptable within the Christian faith. One exercise I tried entailed walking around as if I were the happiest person on Earth, my every footstep spreading peace and joy, occasionally pausing to appreciate something. I felt like I was in a Gene Kelly movie, when he dances around with a big smile on his face! But something deeper occurred to me – I really AM the happiest person on Earth! No need to pretend! How does someone who’s spent most of his life with a face like a wet fish, feeling numb inside and wishing things were different conclude he’s the happiest person on Earth? This: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Ephesians 1:3).” Blessedness is one synonym for happiness. Christians have EVERY spiritual blessing/happiness in Christ! It’s kept in heaven where it can’t be got at by enemies. How much more happiness can you get? 

“If God is for us, who can be against us! He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also, along with Him, freely give us all things? (Romans 8:31b-32)” Wow! What a generous God! Read the rest of that chapter to see how much God loves us! How happy we are! We see ourselves as unworthy worms (and that is, in a sense, rightly so), but God sees us in Christ as a spotless bride! While not losing that sense of unworthiness, we need to grasp what God thinks. Walking by faith, not by sight. Some of us find that easier than others. If you’re like me you’ll have known it in your head for decades… then beat yourself up because you don’t understand why you don’t feel it. We don’t HAVE to feel it, but how great if we can! My confession: I’m only now feeling it because of antidepressants, CBT and mindfulness. But it’s not making me feel things that aren’t there. It’s enabling me to feel things by boosting serotonin in my brain, showing me how to be positive and motivated, living in the present rather than dwelling on the past or the future. I’ve had decades of anguish and misery, so now I’ve the chance to change and I’m grabbing it! I don’t find it devalues the experience, it enables it. 

Here’s a more down to earth way to give and get help. “Let us encourage one another.” Christians are on the same side and we need to act like it. I’ve spent too much time criticizing other Christians - backbiting, being suspicious. Way before the meds and therapies I’ve been working on that, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, looking for the good instead of nit-picking. I’m now actively encouraging others and receiving it from them. I’ve failed in this for too long and don’t want others to learn the hard way. 

I’m not the happiest person on Earth in isolation – I am the joint-happiness with all my Christian brothers and sisters. We are one in Him, dear friends, and that’s how He wants us to live.

A Tightrope or an Open Field?

How’s life for you? What do you think of it? How do you approach it? What’s your worldview? Do you feel like you’re walking on a tightrope? Concentrating hard, not wanting to make mistakes, scared you’ll fall off? Do you feel like you are walking in an open field? A wide open space, things to enjoy, places to explore, a garden of opportunity? 

I’ve lived inside both metaphors. Of course they are deliberately chosen opposites (or are they?). I know which one makes me happier! You know, what makes the difference is attitude and belief. Before I was a Christian I was very superstitious (some will say I swapped one superstition for another) and I think that sense of being on a tightrope stemmed from that. Don’t spill salt, don’t step on cracks in the pavement, don’t walk under ladders, don’t put your shoes on the table, make sure you say “rabbits” backwards when you wake up on the first of the month. All ways of avoiding “bad luck”.  I mean, what nonsense! As if any of these (with the possible exception of walking under a ladder on top of which someone is cleaning windows) will make the slightest difference to anything! This fear transferred into my early Christianity. Note: fear, not superstition. Don’t want to upset God, must follow the laws, not only exactly as they are written but in every possible way you can apply them to every area of life. Not only me, everyone else – otherwise their salvation was dubious. (I was Pharisee and Puritan combined.) 

It took an awfully long time to grasp that grace triumphs over law. In my head I knew, but making that long 12 inch journey to my heart was another matter. For this reason I’m learning to apply the same grace to others as I should’ve applied to myself. God’s not a stingy, mingy, misery guts in heaven waiting to zap us for every teensy weensy mistake. He is a loving father who, along with Christ, has given us all things. There’s a wide range of experience which isn’t sinful that He wants us to enjoy. Far from being a God who can’t wait to punish us, His heart breaks when sinners won’t repent because He prefers to be merciful than angry.

Let’s drag Adam and Eve into this. God gave them everything and said they could eat from any tree in the garden but one. Does that sound meany-stingy-whingy to you? What an amazing thing that He opened up so much! But instead of being satisfied with everything, they let themselves be duped into disobedience by eating from that one tree they shouldn’t have.

The tightrope and open field are the same state viewed from a different perspective. The tightrope focusses on “thou shalt not” – mustn’t do this, that or the other – don’t want to upset God. The open field focusses on all the trees in the garden you can eat from – look at all God has given me to enjoy!

Does this mean we can do what we want and stuff the consequences? No! The things God does and doesn’t want us to do are still there. It’s a matter of where you focus. The Ten Commandments contain many “do nots” but they, along with all God’s rules, are summed up into this: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’^” (Matthew 22:37-39). If we love, we aren’t breaking God’s laws. That doesn’t mean we ignore the commandments. They define loving behaviour. The Spirit of love is in the heart of the Christian, as is the mind of Christ, and these, allowed to work in us, lead us to do the right thing. It’s absolutely not “anything goes”; it’s a trained, regenerate heart and mind that allows us to live a happy Christian life. 

The Lord is our Shepherd, He leads us in green pastures. Wide open spaces where we enjoy His presence and His benefits. We’re not alone when we venture into the world.