The Vilest Offender Who Truly Believes?

Not so long ago a serial rapist in England was granted parole after serving eight years of his sentence. This rightly caused a public outcry and the decision was overturned. The one  aspect of this terrible case I want to focus on was that he claimed to have become a Christian in prison. This led to various responses. “He’s deceived if he thinks God has forgiven him” being one of them. I am obviously not in a position to know whether he has truly repented and turned to Christ. When it comes to prisoners it is easy for me to be sceptical because it could easily be a ploy to get early release (“I’m a reformed character, Guv”). But my scepticism is neither here nor there to the grace of God.

Let’s put this man to one side now and consider “sinners” in general. What is the grace of God for? Surely it shows favour to those who don’t deserve it. (Which, by the way, is all of us.) Do we have something in the back of our minds that the grace of God is only for people whose sins are no worse than mine? Or do we really believe that “the vilest offender who truly believes, that moment from Jesus a pardon receives”? Why would we put a limit on who we are happy to accept as a brother or sister in Christ based on their past behaviour? “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.” “Forgive one another in Christ as God has forgiven you.” “Freely you have received, freely give.” OK, the sin may not have been against us but the concept of accepting one another in Christ stands, even if it is unpalatable to us.

When the Apostle Paul was converted there was scepticism and fear among the Christians because he had been persecuting Christians and dragging them into prison. If he could, however, be accepted by the church, then anyone can. I think a cautious welcome is fine if need be and some degree of monitoring of the behaviour of the person to see if they demonstrate fruit in keeping with repentance. Depending on the sins involved some safeguarding measures may need to be put in place. But an outright rejection of the person from the outset is not Christian.

Here’s a link to a poem I wrote about this, which expresses things in a different way…

Happy Feet

The Day I Met God

I had quite a lonely childhood. Partly this may have been due to me isolating myself at times and partly due to being one of those kids that always got left out of things or was the last to be picked for teams. I was quite introspective and unhappy. Teenage years magnified this and unhappiness turned into its evil cousin, misery.

I had always been interested in the supernatural and had a firm belief that some vague kind of God existed out there. I thought that the way to get into heaven was to be good, and, in my eyes, I was good. And I think I really was comparatively good. I didn’t get into trouble or seek to be disruptive. I went to church Sunday School as a child and I believe I liked it. But that ceased when one of the other kids who stopped going turned up after church just to bully me, so I stopped going too.

Losing this contact with God didn’t stop me being interested in the supernatural. I read all manner of books on the occult, ghosts, aliens, divination - and totally scared myself. I became very superstitious and fearful, carrying out rituals to stop vague, bad things from happening to me, afraid of the dark in case a ghost appeared or an alien came to abduct me.

Life went on, and I became more miserable, more lonely, more scared. I hated myself, I hated the world, and became obsessed with wanting it to end. And good riddance! Actually, wanting it to end wasn’t enough, I wanted to know when that would happen. So, aged 18, I set about on a quest to find out when the world would end.

I read parts of books from a few different religions, but they didn’t tell me when it would happen. Then it occurred to me to read the Bible. If the Bible was God’s book, God was sure to know when the world would end and it would be in the Bible. I started reading at the beginning - a task that would take 6 months. But no - no date in the Bible for the end of the world! Then I came across a book by Billy Graham called Approaching Hoofbeats, which was about the last book of the Bible, Revelation. Yes - Revelation! The end of the world! Maybe Billy Graham could tell me!

Well, no. Billy Graham didn’t tell me when the world was going to end. But he told me about Jesus. Why He died and what I could do to know Him and receive eternal life. I knew this was what I wanted and I did it. In my bedroom I prayed to become a Christian, telling God I was sorry for my sins, asking Him to forgive me, and asking Jesus into my life. I felt a tangible whoosh of peace flood my whole body. And that was the day I first met God.

Where's Your Head At? (Part Two)

Although I’ve called this blog “Part Two”, it’s very much a different aspect rather than a continuation. This blog looks at a Christian issue. Where are our heads at, fellow-Christians? Are we walking by faith or are we walking by sight? Are we fixing our eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith? Are we thinking about “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely?” Are we living like strangers in the world, or are we indistinguishable from it?

Assuming we want to be living as the Bible tells us, how do we do that? This is a subject which has been unnecessarily complicated by the accumulation of 2000 years’ worth of theology, philosophy and the collection of various isms. With a book the size of the Bible it’s hardly surprising if we get a bit confused sometimes. That’s why I’ve picked just a few verses to start us off in the opening paragraph.

It’s important to get our heads right. The mind needs to be renewed by the word of God and the Spirit of God. This is what will transform us into the likeness of Christ and help us not to conform to the pattern of the world (Romans 12:2). Unfortunately, there is a phenomenon in which the opposite happens. People become Christians or come into the church and bring their philosophies in with them. Rather than subjecting these thoughts to the Bible/Church they reject/adapt the Bible/Church to their ideology. I say “they”. We are all prone. Our minds need to be transformed. The Bible doesn’t. 

We are meant to walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) This is about pleasing God. We are meant to live in the knowledge of His presence, not as if this world is all there is. We are meant to live with a higher purpose in life than fulfilling earthly dreams. There is a resurrection and a judgement to come, and this should influence the way we act. We are meant to follow God’s heart, not our own evil inclinations. We are to avoid sin, not throw ourselves headlong into it. Where is our head at – pleasing God or pleasing ourselves? “We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Romans 6:2) “But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.” (1 John 2:1) Sin should not be the norm for the Christian, but if we do sometimes give in, Jesus is there as the route to forgiveness.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8) Paul felt it necessary to advise a first century audience about this. Living in pagan societies it would have been very relevant. It is still relevant today. There is so much that is the opposite of these things staring us in the face. It’s too easy to get engrossed in the negative, the wicked, the ugly. We don’t want to bury our heads in the sand but we also shouldn’t want to fill our heads with filth. 

“Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.” (1 Peter 2:11) We are in the world, but not of it. The way we act should emphasise that distinction. The world here clearly refers to a type of behaviour, not to the planet. Can people tell we are Christians? Can they see we are different? Or do we indulge in the same sins as if being a Christian were nothing special? The preceding verses are: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” The contrast between what we were in the world and what we are in Christ does not need me to expound it further.

In spite of all this, we are so prone to forget. It is as if we slip and slide away so easily. Our main hope is to keep our minds focussed on the Lord Jesus and all that we are in Him. And to encourage each other to do so.

Where's Your Head At? (Part One)

Which came first – thoughts or (in)actions? Where’s your head at? This is an important question because so much will flow from it, consciously or unconsciously. It’s good to cultivate a focussed mind if we can, rather than one that is scattered all over the place, overcrowded by thoughts which fill us which anxiety and dread. This will help us to put things in perspective and get things done in some sense of order, maybe even to get things done at all. I suggest we don’t really want to be “all over the place”, left hoping we’ll somehow manage to do something useful. We want to achieve, preferably by design. We want to have a target because otherwise we can’t hit it. 

If we notice our minds are dashing all over the place, buzzing around and unable to stay with one thing, we need to recognise that it’s happening, be calm with ourselves, decide we want to focus and then do it without moaning at ourselves or calling ourselves stupid or useless or whatever. We don’t want to stop thinking, we just want to order it. Maybe pause your thoughts, count to ten and say “right, I’m back in the room” and determine to decide what is most important to you now. Out of all the competing thoughts, worries, cares, excitements, which one needs your immediate attention? You may even find the answer to this is “none of them”! Get pen and paper (or some technological equivalent) and make yourself a list of the things you were thinking about. Then next to each one rank them by priority. Write down when they need to be done. Write down how difficult you expect them to be. You’ll probably find out, on reflection, that some things don’t even need to be thought about in advance – they are so straightforward they will take care of themselves when you come to do them. I’ve been like this often in the past, thinking through in detail how to do something which is just so obvious and easy to do that my angst was unnecessary. 

It’s helpful to declutter your mind, to realise that you don’t need to overthink most things. You can try to drop some thoughts which are unhelpful – you don’t have to cling on to thoughts just because you’ve had them. 

If you’ve now got your list, here’s an interesting experiment. Put it aside and do something for the next 30 minutes which isn’t even on it! Something you enjoy. See if you can do that thing without even thinking about your list. You may just find out that the world doesn’t collapse! Then go back to your list and reassess it. And relax.

I'm Just A Sucker With No Self Esteem

Here’s a poem I recently wrote. Being a poem it is necessarily extreme. It is called Self Downing.

I'm bad

I know I'm bad

I'm a sinner

Not a winner

Selfish grinner

Full smile wiped off my dirty face

The lowest of the limbo low

No further southern point to go

Wicked as the devil could be

Despicably depraved me

A wriggly worm in the dirt

A slimy slug in your herbaceous borders

I'm completely out of order

All my thoughts are disgusting

All my words curses

All my deeds dastardly

Totally unlovable

Irredeemable

Every inch a failure

Never hitting the mark

A capital L loser

A pig in a poke

A dog eating its own puke

Pack myself in a suitcase and hide

Nobody deserves to see this

Take me away and throw me into the sea!

Oh mercy me! Oh mercy mercy me!

This addresses an issue which makes and keeps us depressed. We ignore any good in what we do. We ignore any achievements. We use only negative language to describe ourselves. We focus on a bad thing we’ve done and let that colour everything else. We assume we should be more skilful, do more, succeed in everything, be popular. And when we miss that mark we’ve set for ourselves we throw our hands up in the air and declare ourselves useless, hopeless and we stop trying. Rather than looking to see if this was just a blip or a glitch or a bad day, we declare this is everything and this is just how we are and always will be. And that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How do we get out of this? We calmly and rationally ask ourselves some questions. Starting with why we believe we must be more skilful, more productive, successful, popular. Is there any proof that this is the case? Are these demands real? We then have to assume the answer is no and encourage ourselves with answers like, I would like to be a more skilful person, but there is no proof that I have to be. I would like to be more productive, but there is no proof that I have to be. And so on. This disarms the demands we accepted and turns them into preferences. It releases the pressure valve. We can relax. 

This doesn’t mean we just accept a perceived mediocrity. It should just mean we take off the pressure to perform and change our approach to improvement. We need to change our mindset so we attempt improvement but do not beat ourselves up if we fail sometimes. We keep calm and carry on. We don’t throw in the towel at the first setback.

I want to say something about self-esteem before closing, as that is linked, I think. Constantly putting ourselves down suggests we don’t value our worth. We think we’re either perfect or we’re useless, and there is no middle ground. This black and white thinking is part of the landscape of depression. And coming from a Christian viewpoint I think our understanding of the Bible may contribute to this. Not that the Bible is at fault but rather the depressed mind reading the Bible is at fault. The depressed mind focusses on original sin, “I am a worm and not a man”, “even our good deeds are like menstrual cloths”, I have sinned in every thought and word and deed. It does not focus on original goodness, being made in the image of God, “I have loved you with an everlasting love”, “as the Father has loved me, so have I loved you”. Both sides of this equation are Christian and need to be attended to in their proper contexts. The self-esteem of the Christian does not derive from within, it derives from the knowledge of being created in the likeness of God, being loved by God, being redeemed by God, etc. All these are things which are outside ourselves and in which we played no part. If we gather our self-esteem from what we have done it will be a poor showing. God thinks we are worth it, and so He loved us and sent His only Son for us. This is an act of God which should instil in us a sense of how He values His children.